There is a parable that goes like this: (it’s a bit graphic—please forgive– and do not try this at home! just trust me on the metaphor) If you put a frog in boiling water, it will immediately jump out because the pain is so sudden and intense, and its basic instinct is to survive. If you put a frog in cool water and then slowly turn up the heat over time, the frog doesn’t notice the water is getting hot and it will end up dying because at some point, the water boils—and the sad, oblivious little frog never noticed and didn’t act fast enough to save itself.
When I was actively working on the front lines in healthcare, over the course of a 30-year career, I felt like the second frog. Every year, the pressure got a little worse; the heat was turned up just a little bit more—sometimes it was barely noticeable—I rationalized to myself that it was “normal”. This is just the way of healthcare. I tried everything I could think of to make it work—and every strategy did work—and worked quite well, until it didn’t anymore. I switched patient populations; switched settings; I switched jobs. I started a side hustle. I went into healthcare administration and marketing; went back to school. I served on community service boards and committees.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”—Anais Nin.
It didn’t happen overnight, but with time, patience, and the support of a fellow OT Coach (a licensed occupational therapist that also is a professional certified coach), I was able to make the transition out of healthcare and into my own private practice as a full time coach. It was a long time in the making and took a lot of planning. I had many limiting beliefs, assumptions and fears I needed to work through one by one, to be emotionally and psychologically prepared—not to mention—financially ready– to leave.
It was when I invested in myself and hired a coach that everything changed. I developed the clarity and the confidence to figure out all the details; make the move and I had a solid plan. I believed in myself that I could finally leave my job and be financially successful as well as emotionally fulfilled again in my career.
And, now, I spend my days as a full time coach, supporting other working professionals—in all fields—not just healthcare– figure out their own point of pain. I help people create practical strategies to shift their experience in this moment and simultaneously navigate when it’s time to leave a job—and what to do for new income streams when they leave. And, more importantly, help each person sort out their own circumstances and carve their own unique path out of the system. Whether it is healthcare or another corporate career. Change is possible!
After coaching hundreds of people over the years, the following are the two most common patterns I’ve observed that precede that “moment of clarity” of knowing in your bones it’s time to resign. There are two extremes of stress. One kind is the typical distress we associate with an overwhelming or unsustainable workload. The other type of stress, less common, but equally as troubling is the exact opposite of overwhelm—it’s boredom. The brain craves stimulation. If you aren’t learning, you are not growing. There is a sweet spot of feeling “just enough” stress that is considered “good stress”. The term is “eustress” —the excitement of a new project or the exhilaration of a deadline. The stress of growing, learning, stimulation and stretching.
These are the two types of coaching presentations I see most often in clients that are ready to move on from their current position.
Which one resonates most for you?
Scenario #1: You feel bored. You have stopped learning & growing. You feel as if you can do your job in your sleep. You are on automatic pilot. One of the most exciting things about having a fulfilling career is the stimulation and growth of learning new things and having a deep sense of purpose and being needed. Knowledge is power–Whether you are the one learning or are the one teaching or mentoring others.
You will know it’s time to consider leaving when you feel a sense of stagnation and restlessness. The job no longer brings you a sense of joy and contentment. You will have learned all there is to learn in that environment and teaching others no longer appeals to you. Your skills are underutilized. Your talent is not being maximized. This often looks like doing anything to avoid doing your actual work—procrastinating, losing focus, becoming easily distracted, wasting time, taking days off just so you don’t have to do the job.
Quick fix: Stop looking at the clock (it can make the day feel much longer than it is); switch departments or see if you can spend time in another department shadowing a colleague—sometimes a simple change of scenery can make the day go faster; take a class, go back to school; earn a credential; learn something new, take on a new project, find a way to challenge yourself—either at work or outside of work. Volunteer for a charity or non-profit. Even if the job itself is boring, you can pour your focus into growing and learning in other areas of your life.
Scenario #2: You are overwhelmed. The stress of the job is impacting your physical, mental, and emotional health. The pace is unsustainable; the overwhelm is endless. The workload is unceasing. There may be physical discomfort, like fatigue, exhaustion, inability to sleep, weight gain, joint pain, stomach, or intestinal upset. Or there may be emotional challenges that take their toll. You may start to feel a looming sense of dread, generalized anxiety or even depression. You might even have developed a toolbox of bad habits to cope with the stress—binging/overeating on junk food, drinking, television, shopping, social media. You may isolate from friends, withdraw from co-workers. Your attitude becomes negative, cynical or sarcastic. You have no energy outside of work to do anything meaningful. Your personal relationships are suffering, and you are tired all the time.
Quick Fix: Deep breaths! Remember in any given moment, your brain can literally only focus on one thing at a time. Use this to your advantage. Focus only on one task at a time: Check your ego and super-human, overachiever expectations of yourself and give yourself permission to perform at a normal mere mortal, human status. Cut out junk food & sugar (it contributes to stress); drink water (a dehydrated brain doesn’t work as efficiently) Begin to prioritize your time & energy reserves—identify tasks only you can do; then delegate or delete the rest. Outside of work, prioritize what is important and ask for help with anything that is draining your time or energy. Last–Take some time off—a few days or a full vacation if you can swing it.
Knowing the exact moment that you are “done” with a job is good but recognizing early warning signs is even better—this is sometimes years in the making. Be mindful of your personal early warning signs, know your own limits and boundaries. Leaving a career often takes a lot of planning, patience, research, and support. Working with an experienced & credentialed life coach is a great way to have the assistance you need to make a smooth transition to a new fulfilling career and a more sustainable work-life balance.
