We make decisions every minute of every day: what time to wake up, whether to hit snooze again, what to make for breakfast, how to start our day, etc. Given the circumstances, these decisions are usually a breeze – these aren’t the kind of things that keep us up at night. But filtered throughout our lives are the bigger choices: whether to stay in a relationship, choosing a degree, choosing to stay in a career or move on, etc. If the smaller everyday decisions are like baby steps, these decisions feel more like taking a leap over the grand canyon – maybe you feel a little afraid, due to a slight risk of falling.
But it wouldn’t be an exciting life if we didn’t have hard decisions to make, right?
When it comes to narrowing down your choices and feeling good about your decisions, there are ways to make it life-giving and fun.
I want to offer a few suggestions that can guide your thinking about big decisions from a life coaching standpoint. These tips will be helpful whether you are making a decision about your career, relationship, your health or any life area.
To make things simpler, let’s start with the classic “career conundrum” example; say you’ve found yourself for several years in the same job. There’s security, good pay and other benefits. But, the opportunity to step into a new, exciting position lies before you. Perhaps it’s the type of career that you’ve always dreamed about; maybe it’s just something that’s calling out to you. The only downside: the perks aren’t the same. You’re torn, having to choose between staying where you’re comfortable, or stepping into the great unknown, where maybe greater career joy lies, or who knows what.
FIRST: Before you decide about the next job, it’s wise to explore why you might want to leave your current job. While the names, faces and locations will change, you will likely recreate the same conditions if the core energy is not addressed first. As the saying goes, “You take yourself with you.” So, consider: What needs are/are not being met at your current position? What do you love/loathe about your current position? What would need to change in order for you to be willing to stay? Remember: It takes two sets of people to make something work. If you are unhappy, then take an honest look at your role in creating the unhappiness. This could open a door to repair your current situation and help you prevent the same circumstance from repeating itself with different people in the next job.
NEXT: Establish “conditions for happiness criteria” for your career. Distinguish what you need from what you want in your job. This will help you decide if the next position aligns with what you wish for in a career. While no job is perfect, consider your core values and what is deeply important to you so they can be honored with your new position.
LAST: Don’t think, just decide. Try making your decision in 5 seconds. This is a very quick & simple mind trick that will help you make the right decision every time. Literally count: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1: Decide. And commit to it 100%. In your deepest instincts, in your heart & soul, you know what to do. The problem is you have spent so much time in your mind thinking about it, analyzing it, agonizing over it, playing all kinds of different scenarios out, talking yourself out of it or into it, that your mind is so cluttered up with options that you have become paralyzed with indecision. And, the longer you wait, the harder it is. You know what to do. If you weren’t thinking about it so much, what would your gut be telling you? Do that.
When in doubt, consider this:
“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”
– Nelson Mandela
How can you apply these steps to your next big decision?
- Before deciding about the next step, what’s urging you to leave/change your current situation?
- Establish “conditions for happiness” criteria for your next decision: what’s the most important values for you.
- Don’t think, just decide. AKA, trust your instincts, heart and soul, and don’t linger.
Life coaching can support you with sorting through all the details of your life and gaining clarity on your best choices. Life coaching will never give you advice or tell you what to do, but instead, bring your own answers into view to build your confidence to live the life you desire.
